Will it rain tomorrow?

BobM414 asked "Is it going to rain tomorrow?"

Scribe: You have the chance of a lifetime to ask questions to God and you ask for a weather forecast? Haven't you ever heard of weather.com? God says it isn't going to rain where you live except right over your house.

God: I DID NOT SAY THAT.

Scribe: Oh, shoot. You're here.

God: I'M EVERYWHERE.

Scribe: Right.

God: THIS ISN'T GOING TO WORK IF YOU'RE GOING TO START MAKING THINGS UP. YOU MUST WRITE DOWN EXACTLY WHAT I SAY AND NOTHING MORE. UNDERSTOOD?

Scribe: Yes, God. Sorry.

God: PLEASE ASK THE QUESTION.

Scribe: BobM414 asks "Is it going to rain tomorrow?"

God: IT WILL RAIN, BOB.

Scribe: Told you.

God: SCRIBE!!!

Scribe: Sorry.

What do you think of "Heroes"?

Scribe: God, capn_ron asked "What do you think of Heroes?"

God: IF YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT THE NEW TELEVISION SERIES, I THINK IT'S GREAT. INTERESTING CHARACTERS AND INTRIGUING STORY. DON'T KNOW THAT A HEROIN ADDICT SUPERHERO IS A GREAT ROLE MODEL BUT THAT HIRO NAKAMURA CHARACTER IS A HOOT.

Scribe: You watch TV?

God: I WATCH EVERYTHING.

Scribe: All 500 channels?

God: I'M GOD.

Scribe: Right.

God: I FIND IT INTERESTING THAT EVERYONE SEEMS SURPRISED BY THE SUCCESS OF "HEROES" THIS SEASON. THROUGHOUT HISTORY, DURING TURBULENT TIMES (E.G., TIMES OF WAR, ECONOMIC INSTABILITY AND WHEN "24" IS ON HIATUS), THE POPULARITY OF SUPERHEROES INCREASES. THE GOLDEN AGE OF COMICS STARTED WITH THE CREATION OF SUPERMAN DURING WORLD WAR II. LIKE THE GODS OF GREEK MYTHOLOGY, SUPERHEROES GIVE HOPE AND OFFER WISH FULFILLMENT.

Scribe: They also look good in spandex.

God: YOU'RE TALKING TO GOD ABOUT SPANDEX?

Scribe: Sorry.

Why?

Scribe: God, Anonymous asks the question "Why?"

God: BOY, TALKING TO GOD ALWAYS BRINGS THE PHILOSOPHY MAJORS OUT OF THE WOODWORK. I COULD GIVE THE SNARKY RESPONSE, "WHY NOT?" I COULD ALSO ANSWER YOUR VAGUE QUESTION WITH A SIMPLE "BECAUSE". BUT SINCE I'M A KIND AND BENEVOLENT GOD, I'LL RESIST THE URGE.

INSTEAD, I'LL ASSUME YOUR QUESTION IS GENUINE AND JUST OFFER ENCOURAGEMENT. CONGRATULATIONS! BRAVO! YOU'VE ASKED THE $25,000 QUESTION. HUMANITY HAS GOTTEN INTO SOME PRETTY BIG TROUBLE OVER THE AGES WHEN THE MASSES BLINDLY FOLLOW THEIR LEADERS OR ACCEPT EXPLANATIONS THAT DON'T ADD UP (WMDs, ANYONE?). DON'T TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED. NEVER HESISTATE TO ASK WHY? IF THE ANSWER YOU GET DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT TO YOU, IT PROBABLY ISN'T. KEEP ASKING.

Note from Scribe: I'm not sure about the logic of posting "anonymously" when you're asking a question to God. Trust me, he knows who asked this question.

How about them Democrats?

Scribe: God, jerrys asked "How 'bout those democrats? Was it part of some master plan to have them win the House?"

God: WHILE I FAVOR ANY SORT OF INTELLECTUAL DISCOURSE, I DON'T SUPPORT EITHER POLITICAL PARTY. GUESS YOU COULD CALL ME AN INDEPENDENT.

AS FOR YOUR "MASTER PLAN" QUESTION, I'M GLAD YOU BROUGHT THAT UP. YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MANY PEOPLE POINT TO SPECIFIC INCIDENTS IN THEIR LIVES AND ASK IF IT IS PART OF MY MASTER PLAN. OK, I WILL CONFIRM THAT THERE IS A MASTER PLAN. BUT IT'S ON A "MACRO" LEVEL. HEAVEN AND EARTH TYPE OF STUFF. AS AN EXAMPLE, WHEN I CREATED THE DOG, I DID IT BECAUSE THERE ARE MANY THINGS PEOPLE CAN LEARN FROM ANIMALS, FROM TAKING CARE OF ANIMALS, AND ABOUT THEMSELVES IN THE PROCESS. WHEN A DOG PEES ON THE LIVING ROOM RUG, IT DOES THAT ON ITS OWN. NOT PART OF THE PLAN. HOPE THAT CLEARS SOME THINGS UP.

Why is God talking to you?

lcollins asked: Why is God talking to you?

Scribe: Sounds like this question is directed to me and not God. My answer is that he's not talking to me. He's talking to you. I'm just taking notes. Still, I'll pose the question:

"God, why are you talking to me?"

God: I TALK TO EVERYONE. NOT EVERYONE LISTENS. IF PEOPLE THINK ABOUT IT, MOST QUESTIONS THEY ASK ME THEY CAN ANSWER THEMSELVES. SOMETIMES IT'S EASIER TO MAKE IT SOMEONE ELSE'S DECISION. SHOULD I DO THIS OR THAT? YOU HAVE FREE WILL BY DESIGN. SEARCH YOURSELF AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT TO DO.

November Questions

Post your November questions here.

How This Place Works

It's pretty simple. Ask questions you'd like answered and I'll post God's* responses.

Now while you're free to ask anything you want, here are a few things to consider:

-- Not all questions may be answered. He's a busy guy.
-- Life or death questions can be tricky. Everyone will die eventually. He prefers to keep some things unknown.
-- Don't ask for winning lottery numbers or for the point spread on the big game. That's cheating and he frowns on cheaters.


*He told me he's God though I haven't actually seen a photo ID or anything like that. Also, he says if I give out his email address he'll strike me down with lightning. Please just send your questions through this site.