Am I going to hell because I don't follow the dietary laws of my religion?
Scribe: prom_queen asks "Am I going to hell because I don't follow the dietary laws of my religion?
God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, PROM QUEEN. FIRST OFF, YOUR QUESTION ASSUMES THERE IS A HELL AND I'M NOT WILLING TO CONFIRM OR DENY THAT.
Scribe: Why not?
God: WHEN WE STARTED THIS SERIES OF INTERVIEWS, I EXPLAINED THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS PEOPLE NEED TO BELIEVE OR NOT BELIEVE ON THEIR OWN. FAITH IS BELIEVING IN SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE CONFIRMED. LIKE THE QUESTION WE HAD A WHILE BACK ABOUT HEAVEN, I'M NOT WILLING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT HELL.
Scribe: I know hell exists.
God: YOU DO?
Scribe: I saved all of my Christmas shopping until this weekend. Have you been to the malls today? The crowds, the desperation, the last minute discouts. Believe me, I caught a glimpse of hell today and it ain't pretty.
God: CAN I GET BACK TO THE QUESTION?
Scribe: Be my guest. Prom Queen wants to know if she's going to be penalized for not following the dietary laws of her religion.
God: THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO.
Scribe: You're assuming that she's talking about eating milk and meat together or something like that. What if she's a cannibal and eats other people?
God: I KNOW YOU HAD A HARROWING DAY AT THE MALL BUT DON'T GET TWISTED ON ME.
Scribe: Okay, sorry.
God: I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY THAT WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT. I'M INCLINED TO AGREE. WHEN JUDGMENT DAY COMES, I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEING THAN WHAT YOU EAT. OVER TIME, PEOPLE HAVE EATEN VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET. WHILE SOME RELIGIONS HOLD TO CERTAIN DIETARY RULES, IT'S ONLY ONE ASPECT OF THE RELIGION. AS FAR AS I KNOW, THERE'S NO RELIGION THAT IS BASED ENTIRELY ON WHAT YOU EAT.
Scribe: Maybe I should start a religion where we worship chocolate?
God: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT WORSHIPPING SOMETHING OTHER THAN ME. CHOCOLATE IS NICE BUT IT WON'T BRING YOUR SOUL ETERNAL PEACE.
Scribe: Good point.
God: I'M GLAD YOU SEE THINGS MY WAY.
God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, PROM QUEEN. FIRST OFF, YOUR QUESTION ASSUMES THERE IS A HELL AND I'M NOT WILLING TO CONFIRM OR DENY THAT.
Scribe: Why not?
God: WHEN WE STARTED THIS SERIES OF INTERVIEWS, I EXPLAINED THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS PEOPLE NEED TO BELIEVE OR NOT BELIEVE ON THEIR OWN. FAITH IS BELIEVING IN SOMETHING THAT CAN'T BE CONFIRMED. LIKE THE QUESTION WE HAD A WHILE BACK ABOUT HEAVEN, I'M NOT WILLING TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT HELL.
Scribe: I know hell exists.
God: YOU DO?
Scribe: I saved all of my Christmas shopping until this weekend. Have you been to the malls today? The crowds, the desperation, the last minute discouts. Believe me, I caught a glimpse of hell today and it ain't pretty.
God: CAN I GET BACK TO THE QUESTION?
Scribe: Be my guest. Prom Queen wants to know if she's going to be penalized for not following the dietary laws of her religion.
God: THE SHORT ANSWER IS NO.
Scribe: You're assuming that she's talking about eating milk and meat together or something like that. What if she's a cannibal and eats other people?
God: I KNOW YOU HAD A HARROWING DAY AT THE MALL BUT DON'T GET TWISTED ON ME.
Scribe: Okay, sorry.
God: I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY THAT WHAT COMES OUT OF YOUR MOUTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT YOU PUT INTO IT. I'M INCLINED TO AGREE. WHEN JUDGMENT DAY COMES, I'M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE WAY YOU TREAT YOUR FELLOW HUMAN BEING THAN WHAT YOU EAT. OVER TIME, PEOPLE HAVE EATEN VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING ON THE PLANET. WHILE SOME RELIGIONS HOLD TO CERTAIN DIETARY RULES, IT'S ONLY ONE ASPECT OF THE RELIGION. AS FAR AS I KNOW, THERE'S NO RELIGION THAT IS BASED ENTIRELY ON WHAT YOU EAT.
Scribe: Maybe I should start a religion where we worship chocolate?
God: I KNOW YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT WORSHIPPING SOMETHING OTHER THAN ME. CHOCOLATE IS NICE BUT IT WON'T BRING YOUR SOUL ETERNAL PEACE.
Scribe: Good point.
God: I'M GLAD YOU SEE THINGS MY WAY.
posted by 4CallingBirds at 9:05 PM
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