Why are there so many different religions?
Scribe: ClaireB asks, “Is there more than one God? If not, why are there so many different religions?”
God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, CLAIRE. THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME.
Scribe: Are you sure?
God: POSITIVE.
Scribe: Then why are there so many different religions?
God: OKAY, THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS THAT PEOPLE VIEW ME. DEPENDING ON THEIR RELIGION, I COULD BE JESUS, ALLAH, BUDDHA OR JUST PLAIN OLD “GOD”. THERE ARE SO MANY NAMES BY WHICH I AM KNOWN.
Scribe: Kind of like P.Diddy.
God: I MIGHT BE KNOWN BY A FEW MORE NAMES THAN HE IS.
Scribe: Well, you’re God after all.
God: CORRECT.
Scribe: So about the number of religions?
God: HAVE YOU EVER MADE CHICKEN PARMIGIANA?
Scribe: Sure.
God: ARE YOU AWARE THAT THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF RECIPES FOR CHICKEN PARMIGIANA?
Scribe: I wasn’t.
God: HAVE YOU EVER TOLD THE JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD?
Scribe: Sure, but I’m not sure—
God: THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF WAYS TO TELL THAT JOKE.
Scribe: Chicken Parmigiana? Chicken jokes? Are we still talking about religion?
God: IF YOU ASK A DOZEN ITALIAN GRANDMOTHERS WHICH IS THE AUTHENTIC RECIPE FOR CHICKEN PARMIGIAN, EACH WILL SWEAR UP AND DOWN THAT NOT ONLY IS THEIRS IS THE “RIGHT” WAY TO DO IT, BUT THAT YOU’RE CRAZY IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS ANOTHER WAY TO DO IT.
Scribe: So?
God: IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THE DAYS WHEN I USED TO SHOW MYSELF ON A REGULAR BASIS. OVER THE CENTURIES, PEOPLE HAVE PASSED ALONG WHAT WAS KNOWN ABOUT ME TO THEIR DECENDANTS. IN EACH CASE, VARIATIONS OF WHAT WAS TOLD, THE REGION IN WHICH PEOPLE LIVED, THE LANGUAGES SPOKEN, THE NATURAL INFLUENCES PEOPLE’S OWN LIVES HAD ON THEIR INTERPRETATION OF WHAT WAS SEEN AND HEARD, ALL LED TO DIFFERENT VARIATIONS IN RELIGION.
Scribe: Like the recipes.
God: EXACTLY. EVEN WITHIN RELIGIONS THERE ARE CONSERVATIVE AND REFORM MOVEMENTS AND OTHER VARIATIONS. CHRISTIANITY, FOR EXAMPLE, INCLUDES ROMAN CATHOLICS, PROTESTANTS, METHODISTS, LUTHERANS AND MANY OTHER FLAVORS OF CHRISTIANITY THAT GREW FROM CULTURAL INFLUENCES.
Scribe: Cool. Got it.
God: SATISFIED?
Scribe: Sure, other than the fact that all of this talk about religion has me hankering for Italian food.
God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, CLAIRE. THERE IS ONLY ONE OF ME.
Scribe: Are you sure?
God: POSITIVE.
Scribe: Then why are there so many different religions?
God: OKAY, THERE ARE MANY DIFFERENT WAYS THAT PEOPLE VIEW ME. DEPENDING ON THEIR RELIGION, I COULD BE JESUS, ALLAH, BUDDHA OR JUST PLAIN OLD “GOD”. THERE ARE SO MANY NAMES BY WHICH I AM KNOWN.
Scribe: Kind of like P.Diddy.
God: I MIGHT BE KNOWN BY A FEW MORE NAMES THAN HE IS.
Scribe: Well, you’re God after all.
God: CORRECT.
Scribe: So about the number of religions?
God: HAVE YOU EVER MADE CHICKEN PARMIGIANA?
Scribe: Sure.
God: ARE YOU AWARE THAT THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF RECIPES FOR CHICKEN PARMIGIANA?
Scribe: I wasn’t.
God: HAVE YOU EVER TOLD THE JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD?
Scribe: Sure, but I’m not sure—
God: THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF WAYS TO TELL THAT JOKE.
Scribe: Chicken Parmigiana? Chicken jokes? Are we still talking about religion?
God: IF YOU ASK A DOZEN ITALIAN GRANDMOTHERS WHICH IS THE AUTHENTIC RECIPE FOR CHICKEN PARMIGIAN, EACH WILL SWEAR UP AND DOWN THAT NOT ONLY IS THEIRS IS THE “RIGHT” WAY TO DO IT, BUT THAT YOU’RE CRAZY IF YOU BELIEVE THERE IS ANOTHER WAY TO DO IT.
Scribe: So?
God: IT’S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THE DAYS WHEN I USED TO SHOW MYSELF ON A REGULAR BASIS. OVER THE CENTURIES, PEOPLE HAVE PASSED ALONG WHAT WAS KNOWN ABOUT ME TO THEIR DECENDANTS. IN EACH CASE, VARIATIONS OF WHAT WAS TOLD, THE REGION IN WHICH PEOPLE LIVED, THE LANGUAGES SPOKEN, THE NATURAL INFLUENCES PEOPLE’S OWN LIVES HAD ON THEIR INTERPRETATION OF WHAT WAS SEEN AND HEARD, ALL LED TO DIFFERENT VARIATIONS IN RELIGION.
Scribe: Like the recipes.
God: EXACTLY. EVEN WITHIN RELIGIONS THERE ARE CONSERVATIVE AND REFORM MOVEMENTS AND OTHER VARIATIONS. CHRISTIANITY, FOR EXAMPLE, INCLUDES ROMAN CATHOLICS, PROTESTANTS, METHODISTS, LUTHERANS AND MANY OTHER FLAVORS OF CHRISTIANITY THAT GREW FROM CULTURAL INFLUENCES.
Scribe: Cool. Got it.
God: SATISFIED?
Scribe: Sure, other than the fact that all of this talk about religion has me hankering for Italian food.
posted by 4CallingBirds at 10:52 AM
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