Sunday, December 31, 2006

Why do people say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes?

Scribe: Dan654 asks "Why do people say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes?

God: GOOD QUESTION, DAN, THANKS FOR ASKING IT.

Scribe: It is a weird thing to do if you think about it. I mean, you squeeze your face up tight, loudly expel snot onto whoever is closeby, and then someone wishes you a blessing.

God: NOT WEIRD AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. IT WOULDN'T BE TERRIBLE IF PEOPLE BLESSED EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE.

Scribe: So this blessing when you sneeze thing WAS your idea?

God: NOPE. UNFORTUNATELY I CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT ONE. IF YOU ASK PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD, THEY WOULD EXPLAIN IT IN DIFFERENT WAYS. ONE IS THAT DURING THE TIME OF THE BUBONIC PLAGUE, A SNEEZE WAS THOUGHT TO BE AN EARLY SIGN OF IMPENDING DEATH. PEOPLE BLESSED EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO MEET ME.

Scribe: That's kinda grim.

God: IT IS. ANOTHER ONE STEMS FROM A PERIOD IN WHICH PEOPLE BELIEVED THE HEART WOULD STOP BEATING WHEN YOU SNEEZED AND BY BLESSING YOU, THEY WERE PRAYING YOUR HEART WOULD PICK UP ITS RHYTHM AGAIN.

Scribe: That's dumb.

God: NOT DUMB. JUST MISINFORMED. YOU NEED TO CUT PEOPLE A BREAK.

Scribe: Sorry.

God: A THIRD THEORY GOES THAT PEOPLE ONCED BELIEVED THAT ONE'S SOUL (IN ADDITION TO SNOT) IS EXPELLED DURING A SNEEZE AND THAT SAYING "GOD BLESS YOU" WARDED OFF SATAN UNTIL THE SOUL COULD FIND ITS WAY SAFELY BACK INTO YOUR BODY.

Scribe: Interesting.

God: TODAY, IT IS MORE JUST A POLITE THING TO SAY -- AKIN TO SAYING "YOU'RE WELCOME" WHEN SOMEONE THANKS YOU FOR SOMETHING. I WISH IT WAS A REAL BLESSING BUT SADLY IT IS JUST PART OF THE VERNACULAR.

Scribe: I noticed back there you just glossed over that mention of Satan. Are you implying he exists?

God: THAT'S ONE OF THOSE AREAS I WON'T TOUCH IN THIS INTERVIEW.

Scribe: Come on. Just one clue? A hint?

God: GOD BLESS YOU, SCRIBE.

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3/20/2007 11:49 AM  

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