Does God really know everything?

Scribe: God, Queen_Cyn asks "Does God really know everything?"

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, CYN. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME THAT.

Scribe: Cute.

God: THANKS.

Scribe: So the answer is "yes", right? You are omniscient. I looked it up and that means "possessed of universal or complete knowledge."

God: TRUTH BE TOLD, THE ANSWER IS BOTH YES AND NO.

Scribe: Why am I not surprised?

God: GIVE ME A BREAK, SCRIBE. SOME QUESTIONS DO NOT LEND THEMSELVES TO BLACK AND WHITE ANSWERS.

Scribe: Okay, I get you. Let's hear it.

God: I DO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED THE MOMENT IT OCCURS. I KNOW EVERY WORD SPOKEN, EVERY THOUGHT CONTEMPLATED, EVERY FEELING FELT.

Scribe: Sounds omniscient so far.

God: BUT BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND I TRY NOT TO INTERVENE, I FREQUENTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE UNTIL IT HAS ACTUALLY OCCURRED.

Scribe: So if I ask you if I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow?

God: I'D SAY THAT I DON'T KNOW. THE VARIABLES IN THAT SITUATION ARE WHETHER A BUS DRIVER SEES YOU WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND SUDDENLY DECIDES TO SWERVE ONTO THE SIDEWALK AND MOW YOU DOWN...

Scribe: Yikes!

God: ...OR YOU DECIDING TO STEP OFF OF THE CURB JUST AS A BUS PASSES BY SO THE DRIVER HAS NO CHANCE TO REACT AND AVOID HITTING YOU.

Scribe: In either case, couldn't you pluck me out of harms way?

God: I COULD, BUT AS I'VE SAID REPEATED DURING OUR INTERVIEWS, I TEND NOT TO INTERVENE.

Scribe: You couldn't even just shout, "Look out, Scribe"?

God: I COULD BUT I WON'T. PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME DEALING WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE SHOUTING WARNINGS AT THEM THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

Scribe: I wouldn't.

God: I'LL TAKE THAT UNDER ADVISEMENT.

Scribe: So no advice that might help my personal safety?

God: WATCH WHERE YOU WALK.

Scribe: Thanks a lot.

What would God like us to know?

Scribe: Happy New Years, God.

God: THANK YOU, SCRIBE. THE SAME TO YOU.

Scribe: Since it is the first day of the new year, I thought I'd use today to ask you a question myself.

God: THAT'S FAIR. FIRE AWAY.

Scribe: Up until now, you've been answering the questions we ask. Is there something you'd like us to know?

God: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. I GUESS NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO TALK ABOUT KARMA.

Scribe: Karma?

God: YOU KNOW -- WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND. GIVE AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LIE IN IT.

Scribe: Right.

God: WHILE I GENERALLY DON'T INTERFERE WITH HUMAN MATTERS, THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK THAT, IN A VERY GENERAL SENSE, REWARD YOU FOR GOOD DEEDS AND PUNISH YOU FOR BAD ONES.

Scribe: So are you saying we should all become Boy Scouts and walk old folks across the street.

God: IT DOESN'T NEED TO EVEN BE ANYTHING SO OVERT. A SIMPLE "GOOD MORNING" TO SOMEONE IN THE ELEVATOR CREATES A PASS ALONG EFFECT OF GOOD WILL THAT WILL EFFECT MANY PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE DAY. IT MAY COME BACK TO YOU LATER IN THE DAY OR DAYS LATER BUT THE GOODWILL WILL RETURN TO YOU.

Scribe: Sometimes it's hard to say "Good morning" before I've had my coffee.

God: THAT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE. A SIMPLE SMILE, A KIND WORD, A MOMENT OF PATIENCE. IF A CHILD IS TRYING TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, PUT DOWN THE NEWSPAPER AND LISTEN. ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT SOMEDAY -- PROBABLY SOONER THAN YOU THINK -- THE CHILD WILL NO LONGER BE INTERESTED IN EXPLAINING THINGS TO YOU, THAT MOMENT OF ATTENTION ADDS TO THE CHILD'S SELF CONFIDENCE THAT MAY SOMEDAY PAYOFF IN AN ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT WILL BETTER THE WORLD.

Scribe: I think I get it.

God: THE POINT IS THAT OTHER THAN ME, EACH OTHER IS ALL YOU'VE GOT. IT'S EASY TO IGNORE OTHERS, DEPLETE NATURAL RESOURCES AND WASTE TIME ON THINGS THAT MATTER LITTLE. BUT IN THE LONG RUN, THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS TO BE FACED. TREAT EACH DAY LIKE A GIFT, EACH OTHER LIKE SOMEONE SPECIAL AND EACH NATURAL RESOURCE AS SOMETHING PRECIOUS.

Scribe: I hear you but can't help feeling like this is some sappy greeting card.

God: FEEL HOWEVER YOU WANT BUT TAKE THE WORDS TO HEART. YOU EACH HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE TO LIVE. WHAT KIND OF LEGACY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?

Scribe: Um, a good one?

God: THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. SPEND YOUR DAYS HOWEVER YOU WANT. BUT KNOW THAT EACH PERSON HAS THE POWER TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR HAVING BEEN IN IT. AND BY HAVING A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON THE WORLD AND OTHERS, YOUR TIME SPENT HERE WILL BE MORE ENRICHING.

Scribe: Thanks, God.

God: THANK YOU, SCRIBE. AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Why do people say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes?

Scribe: Dan654 asks "Why do people say "God Bless You" when someone sneezes?

God: GOOD QUESTION, DAN, THANKS FOR ASKING IT.

Scribe: It is a weird thing to do if you think about it. I mean, you squeeze your face up tight, loudly expel snot onto whoever is closeby, and then someone wishes you a blessing.

God: NOT WEIRD AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED. IT WOULDN'T BE TERRIBLE IF PEOPLE BLESSED EACH OTHER MORE OFTEN NO MATTER WHAT THE CAUSE.

Scribe: So this blessing when you sneeze thing WAS your idea?

God: NOPE. UNFORTUNATELY I CAN'T TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT ONE. IF YOU ASK PEOPLE IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE WORLD, THEY WOULD EXPLAIN IT IN DIFFERENT WAYS. ONE IS THAT DURING THE TIME OF THE BUBONIC PLAGUE, A SNEEZE WAS THOUGHT TO BE AN EARLY SIGN OF IMPENDING DEATH. PEOPLE BLESSED EACH OTHER BECAUSE THEY BELIEVED THEY WERE ON THEIR WAY TO MEET ME.

Scribe: That's kinda grim.

God: IT IS. ANOTHER ONE STEMS FROM A PERIOD IN WHICH PEOPLE BELIEVED THE HEART WOULD STOP BEATING WHEN YOU SNEEZED AND BY BLESSING YOU, THEY WERE PRAYING YOUR HEART WOULD PICK UP ITS RHYTHM AGAIN.

Scribe: That's dumb.

God: NOT DUMB. JUST MISINFORMED. YOU NEED TO CUT PEOPLE A BREAK.

Scribe: Sorry.

God: A THIRD THEORY GOES THAT PEOPLE ONCED BELIEVED THAT ONE'S SOUL (IN ADDITION TO SNOT) IS EXPELLED DURING A SNEEZE AND THAT SAYING "GOD BLESS YOU" WARDED OFF SATAN UNTIL THE SOUL COULD FIND ITS WAY SAFELY BACK INTO YOUR BODY.

Scribe: Interesting.

God: TODAY, IT IS MORE JUST A POLITE THING TO SAY -- AKIN TO SAYING "YOU'RE WELCOME" WHEN SOMEONE THANKS YOU FOR SOMETHING. I WISH IT WAS A REAL BLESSING BUT SADLY IT IS JUST PART OF THE VERNACULAR.

Scribe: I noticed back there you just glossed over that mention of Satan. Are you implying he exists?

God: THAT'S ONE OF THOSE AREAS I WON'T TOUCH IN THIS INTERVIEW.

Scribe: Come on. Just one clue? A hint?

God: GOD BLESS YOU, SCRIBE.

Why do you let some creatures become extinct?

Scribe: Reed asks "Why do you let some creatures become extinct?

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, REED. A LOT OF PEOPLE WONDER THIS.

Scribe: Yeah, me too. I mean, you created all of these cool species on the planet and then you just let them die out. It's incredible to think that the Asian Elephant, the Blue Whale and the Cheetah are all endangered. My grandkids might not ever be able to see these things in zoos, only read about them in books.

God: I UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE THE CONCERN. BUT THINK ABOUT THE DINOSAURS. THEY WERE EXTINCT A LONG TIME AGO BUT PEOPLE STILL STUDY AND LEARN ABOUT THEM. IF ANYTHING, THEY ARE MORE "ALIVE" TODAY THAN EVER.

Scribe: To me, that's different. Dinosaurs were long gone. We never knew them. These others have shared the planet with us and now they're almost completely gone.

God: I KNOW I SOUND A BIT LIKE A BROKEN RECORD THESE DAYS BUT IT ALL COMES BACK TO THE FACT THAT ONCE I CREATE SOMETHING AND SET IT IN MOTION, I RARELY INTERCEDE. UNLIKE IN THE OLDEN DAYS WHEN I HAD NOAH BUILD THAT ARK AND THEN I FLOODED THE WORLD, THESE DAYS, I TRY TO LET THE WORLD RUN ITS OWN COURSE.

Scribe: See, the ark is a good example of something you could do. Back then you had Noah collect two of each species and load them on the ark to repopulate the world after the flood. Why don't you do something like that again?

God: FLOOD THE WORLD? TRUST ME, THAT DIDN'T TURN OUT SO WELL FOR MOST HUMANS.

Scribe: No, just create an island somewhere and plop down two of each endangered species so they could repopulate.

God: SORRY. NOT THE WAY I WORK. IF A SPECIES IS ENDANGERED OR HAS GONE EXTINCT, IT IS BECAUSE ITS ENVIRONMENT HAS CHANGED IN A WAY THAT NO LONGER SUPPORTS THAT SPECIES. IF PEOPLE WANT A SPECIES TO SURVIVE, THEY'LL TAKE STEPS TO SAVE IT. CREATE NATURAL REFUGES AND MORE NATIONAL PARKS. IF NOT, ONLY THE STRONG WILL SURVIVE.

Scribe: So once again you throw it back in our laps?

God: THEM BECOMING ENDANGERED WASN'T MY DOING.

Scribe: That's harsh.

God: YES, SOMETIMES HUMANS ARE.

What exactly does it mean when someone calls something "God forsaken"?

Scribe: Tom_A asks "What does it mean when someone calls something "God forsaken""?

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, TOM. THE SHORT ANSWER IS IT DOESN'T MEAN MUCH?

Scribe: Doesn't it mean that someone or something has pissed you off so much that you pretty much write them off? Or that you've just forgotten about them?

God: WRONG AND WRONG.

Scribe: So what gives?

God: WHAT GIVES IS ANOTHER INSTANCE OF HUMANS INVOKING MY NAME TO SUIT THEIR OWN NEEDS.

Scribe: Wait, so you're saying you never "forsake" anything?

God: NOPE. I NEVER FORGET ANY OF MY CREATIONS. I'M OMNISCIENT SO I'M AWARE OF WHAT IS IN EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING'S HEART AND MIND.

Scribe: That's pretty cool. Could I try that someday?

God: YOUR HEAD WOULD PROBABLY EXPLODE.

Scribe: Okay. I'll pass.

God: BUT THE OTHER PART OF YOUR QUESTION IS ABOUT MY GETTING SO ANNOYED AT SOMEONE OR SOMETHING THAT I WRITE THEM OFF. THE TRUTH IS THAT I CAN'T DO THAT AND I DON'T DO THAT. SURE, THERE ARE THINGS HUMANS DO THAT I WISH THEY WOULDN'T. BUT BY GIVING FREE WILL, I RECOGNIZED THAT I'D HAVE TO STEP BACK, COUNT TO TEN, AND LET HUMANS EXERCISE THAT FREE WILL AS THEY MAY. MY LOVE FOR ALL CREATIONS IS UNWAIVERING AND UNENDING. THERE IS NOTHING THAT ANYONE COULD DO TO MAKE ME "WRITE THEM OFF".

Scribe: Even if they forsake you?

God: FREE WILL. I CAN'T FAULT THEM OF EXERCISING SOMETHING I GAVE THEM.

Scribe: That's pretty cool.

God: I'M GLAD YOU APPROVE.

How much truth is there behind all of those things were told as kids that are "God's way" of telling us we shouldn't be doing something?

Scribe: BobbieC asks "How much truth is there behind those things we are told as kids that are "God's way" of telling us we shouldn't be doing whatever we're doing?

God: THANKS FOR YOUR QUESTION, BOBBIE. IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY COMMON OCCURRENCE.

Scribe: Sure, I remember being told that tons of times. "Brain freeze is God's way of telling you you shouldn't eat your ice cream so fast." Stuff like that.

God: EXACTLY. THE TRUTH IS THAT VERY FEW OF THOSE THINGS HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH ME. PEOPLE TEND TO INVOKE MY NAME WHEN IT SERVES THEM. THIS INCLUDES TIMES WHEN THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT TO CHILDREN.

Scribe: Adults, too. The wife of a friend of mine who had high blood pressure told him just the other day that the high blood pressure was God's way of telling him he needed to watch his diet and get more exercise.

God: YES, ADULTS TOO.

Scribe: And there were plenty of times in college when my friends and I would say that throwing up and passing out was God's way of telling us we had too much to drink.

God: LOVELY. IN MOST OF THOSE INSTANCES CITED, THE THINGS BEING EXPERIENCED ARE JUST PHYSIOLOGICAL. WHILE I CREATED HUMANS, THE BRAIN FREEZE, HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE AND PASSING OUT HAVE LESS TO DO WITH ME AND MORE YOUR BODY'S PHYSICAL RESPONSE TO THINGS THAT YOU MIGHT BE DOING TO IT.

Scribe: Do you ever use things like that to send us messages?

God: AS I MENTIONED BEFORE, I HOLD STRICTLY TO THE CONCEPT THAT PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR ACTIONS.

Scribe: So no "good things happen to good people" and "bad things happen to bad people"?

God: FIRST, THERE ARE PLENTY OF BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE AND GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO BAD PEOPLE. I THINK THE CONCEPT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT IS KARMA. I'LL DEAL WITH THAT SUBJECT IN MORE DETAIL LATER BUT SUFFICE TO SAY THAT THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT HAPPEN NOT AS A RESULT OF SOMETHING YOU'VE DONE BUT BECAUSE YOU'VE DONE THEM.

Scribe: Okay. Not sure I get it.

God: YOU WILL. MORE ON THAT SUBJECT ANOTHER TIME.

What's your thinking behind colds and viruses?

Scribe: Andy543 asks “What’s your thinking behind colds and viruses? They make people (like me) pretty miserable this time of year.”

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, ANDY. SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR COLD. GET SLEEP, DRINK LOTS OF FLUIDS AND TAKE TYLENOL FOR FEVERS.

Scribe: Nice bedside manner. You should consider doing ads for Tylenol. It would be a major coup for Tylenol to have God shill their product.

God: I’M NOT SHILLING, I’M JUST SUGGESTING A REMEDY FOR ANDY’S COLD.

Scribe: Remedy? You’re God. Can’t you just waive your mighty hand and dry Andy’s snot-filled sinuses right up?

God: I COULD BUT I WON’T.

Scribe: Don’t strike me with lightening for asking this, but why don’t you? You could rid the whole world of disease.

God: COLDS AND VIRUSES, LIKE OTHER ILLNESSES, WERE NOT PART OF THE MASTER PLAN.

Scribe: Again with the master plan—

God: DO YOU WANT TO HEAR IT OR NOT?

Scribe: Yes, sorry.

God: LIKE OTHER THINGS, THEY ARE A BY-PRODUCT OF PUTTING LOTS OF ORGANISMS TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE. SOME ARE ALSO THE BY-PRODUCTS OF CERTAIN BEHAVIORS.

Scribe: Behaviors?

God: PEOPLE WHO SMOKE ARE MORE LIKELY TO GET LUNG CANCER. PEOPLE WHO WORK IN RADIATION PLANTS ARE MORE LIKELY TO BE EXPOSED. PEOPLE WHO DON’T WASH THEIR HANDS BEFORE EACH MEAL ARE MORE LIKELY TO CATCH ILLNESSES PASSED ALONG FROM OTHERS. SHALL I GO ON?

Scribe: I get it.

God: BUT MANY ORGANISMS HAVE LEARNED TO ADAPT AND SURVIVE.

Scribe: Sure, as long as you’ve got some Sudafed.

God: GO BACK 200 YEARS AND LOOK AT LIFE EXPECTANCIES. THEY WERE HALF OF WHAT THEY ARE TODAY. GO BACK 200 YEARS MORE AND THEY ARE ONE THIRD OF WHAT THEY ARE TODAY. HOW IS THAT HAPPENING?

Scribe: We’re adapting and surviving.

God: EXACTLY! PEOPLE GET SMARTER AND SMARTER ABOUT ILLNESS AND THEY ADAPT. IF WE JUMP FORWARD 200 YEARS INTO THE FUTURE, I BET PEOPLE WILL LIVE AT LEAST 50% LONGER THAN THEY DO TODAY.

Scribe: So you don’t help us because we can help ourselves?

God: YES. OVER TIME PEOPLE INVESTIGATED WHAT CAUSED ILLNESS AND DEVELOPED MEDICINE AND BETTER HYGIENE TO COMBAT THOSE THINGS. PEOPLE GOT SICK FROM BACTERIA IN THE FOOD THEY WERE EATING SO REFRIDGERATION WAS CREATED. THEY ALSO LEARNED THAT BY COOKING FOOD, THEY COULD KILL MUCH OF THE BACTERIA IN IT.

Scribe: So we’re not getting rid of colds and viruses any time soon?

God: IT’S UP TO YOU.

Scribe: Could you at least help us make some better tasting cough medicine? That stuff always tastes--

God: “GOD AWFUL”?

Scribe: I wasn’t going to say that

God: YOU THOUGHT IT.

Scribe: Sorry.