Does God really know everything?
God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, CYN. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME THAT.
Scribe: So the answer is "yes", right? You are omniscient. I looked it up and that means "possessed of universal or complete knowledge."
God: TRUTH BE TOLD, THE ANSWER IS BOTH YES AND NO.
Scribe: Why am I not surprised?
God: GIVE ME A BREAK, SCRIBE. SOME QUESTIONS DO NOT LEND THEMSELVES TO BLACK AND WHITE ANSWERS.
Scribe: Okay, I get you. Let's hear it.
God: I DO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED THE MOMENT IT OCCURS. I KNOW EVERY WORD SPOKEN, EVERY THOUGHT CONTEMPLATED, EVERY FEELING FELT.
Scribe: Sounds omniscient so far.
God: BUT BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND I TRY NOT TO INTERVENE, I FREQUENTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE UNTIL IT HAS ACTUALLY OCCURRED.
Scribe: So if I ask you if I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow?
God: I'D SAY THAT I DON'T KNOW. THE VARIABLES IN THAT SITUATION ARE WHETHER A BUS DRIVER SEES YOU WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND SUDDENLY DECIDES TO SWERVE ONTO THE SIDEWALK AND MOW YOU DOWN...
God: ...OR YOU DECIDING TO STEP OFF OF THE CURB JUST AS A BUS PASSES BY SO THE DRIVER HAS NO CHANCE TO REACT AND AVOID HITTING YOU.
Scribe: In either case, couldn't you pluck me out of harms way?
God: I COULD, BUT AS I'VE SAID REPEATED DURING OUR INTERVIEWS, I TEND NOT TO INTERVENE.
Scribe: You couldn't even just shout, "Look out, Scribe"?
God: I COULD BUT I WON'T. PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME DEALING WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE SHOUTING WARNINGS AT THEM THROUGHOUT THE DAY.
Scribe: I wouldn't.
God: I'LL TAKE THAT UNDER ADVISEMENT.
Scribe: So no advice that might help my personal safety?
God: WATCH WHERE YOU WALK.
Scribe: Thanks a lot.