Saturday, December 16, 2006

My parents raised me as both Jewish and Catholic. Is that "kosher" in your book?

Scribe: God, StephenZ writes "My parents raised me as both Jewish and Catholic. Is that "kosher" in your book?"

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, STEPHEN. I DON'T KNOW IF IT QUALIFIES AS "KOSHER" IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE DIETARY LAWS BUT RAISING YOU WITH BOTH RELIGIONS IS CERTAINLY ACCEPTABLE.

Scribe: Does that mean he celebrates both Hanukah and Christmas? Man, he must be drowning in gifts this time of year.

God: THAT'S GENERALLY THE WAY IT WORKS WHEN YOU FOLLOW BOTH RELIGIONS.

Scribe: Sounds like a great incentive to be bi-religious.

God: I CAN'T IMAGINE THEY DID IT FOR THE GIFTS.

Scribe: I would. In fact I'm thinking very strongly about it.

God: THAT'S KIND OF SHALLOW, NO?

Scribe: I'm not proud.

God: APPARENTLY.

Scribe: And both religions believe in you, right?

God: YES, FROM THAT PERSPECTIVE, BOTH JUDAISM AND CATHOLICISM START WITH THE OLD TESTAMENT AND THE BELIEF IN ONLY ONE GOD, ME. THAT IS PROBABLY THE COMMON GROUND THAT SERVES AS THE FOUNDATION FOR HOW STEPHENZ WAS RAISED.

Scribe: So by believing in you, I'm actually already practicing both religions, right?

God: IN A SENSE.

Scribe: Then bring on the gifts.

God: IT'S MOMENTS LIKE THESE THAT MAKE ME QUESTION MY DECISION TO MAKE YOU MY SCRIBE.

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