Friday, December 15, 2006

Is there life on other planets?

Scribe: Phillip asks, “Is there life on other planets?”

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, PHILLIP. THE ANSWER IS YES.

Scribe: Really?! Cool! Which one?

God: HOW MANY PLANETS ARE THERE?

Scribe: Nine. No wait, they knocked out Pluto. So, eight. But didn’t they just discover something else they were calling a planet?

God: YOUR ANSWER?

Scribe: I’ll go with eight.

God: ACTUALLY, THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF PLANETS. AND THERE IS LIFE ON MOST OF THEM.

Scribe: No kidding?

God: NO KIDDING. I FIND IT HUMOROUS THAT HUMANS ARE SO ARROGANT THAT THEY HAVE TROUBLES BELIEVING THERE CAN BE LIFE ON OTHER PLANETS.

Scribe: We’ve sent out astronauts, probes, space stations. Nothing has sent back the slightest proof of life out there.

God: WHO AM I?

Scribe: God.

God: WHERE’S THE PROOF THAT I EXIST?

Scribe: Well that lack of proof is why many folks don’t believe in you.

God: MANY MORE BELIEVE IN ME THAN DON’T.

Scribe: I suppose that’s true. But with other life forms, we haven’t seen any signs of buildings, industry, television…

God: AGAIN, THE ARROGANCE. I BLAME MYSELF.

Scribe: Stop calling us arrogant.

God: EVEN IF THERE WERE ONLY EIGHT PLANETS AS YOU SUGGEST, IT IS VERY ARROGANT TO BELIEVE THAT ONLY EARTH HOLDS LIFE. AND YOUR PROOF OF THIS THEORY IS THE LACK OF ANY SIGN OF DEVELOPMENT THAT IS FAMILIAR TO HUMANS. HOW CAN ANY SPECIES EXIST WITHOUT BUILDINGS? AUTOMOBILES? OPRAH? WHEN YOU SWIM IN THE OCEAN, DO YOU LOOK FOR FISH BUILDINGS AND FISH CARS?

Scribe: Well, no.

God: OF COURSE NOT. THE ENVIRONMENT AND THE SPECIES DOES NOT SUPPORT THOSE TYPES OF THINGS. YET YOU DIVE INTO THE BLACKNESS OF SPACE EXPECTING TO FIND SIGNS OF THINGS THAT DON’T EVEN EXIST ON MOST OF YOUR OWN PLANET.

Scribe: Good point.

God: OTHER FORMS OF LIFE ARE OUT THERE. MANY MORE ADVANCED AND SOPHISTICATED THAN HUMANS.

Scribe: Cool. Can you tell me about them?

God: IF HUMANS LOOK WITH AN OPEN MIND, THEY WILL FIND THE PROOF THEY SEEK.

Scribe: One thing I just gotta know -- are Martians really green?

God: YOU DIDN’T REALLY JUST ASK ME THAT?

Scribe: Kidding.

God: NICE TRY.

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