Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Of all of the miracles you've ever performed, which is your favorite?

Scribe: LisaT818 asks, “Of all of the miracles you’ve ever performed, which was your favorite?”

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, LISA. IT ALWAYS AMAZES ME HOW FASCINATED PEOPLE ARE BY THE MIRACLES.

Scribe: Well, there IS a reason we call them miracles. We find them miraculous.

God: I APPRECIATE THAT. BUT SOME ARE NO MORE AMAZING THAN SOMETHING YOU’D SEE AT A PENN & TELLER SHOW. THEY DON’T RECEIVE GLOBAL ADORATION. I’D LIKE TO THINK I GET THAT FOR MORE THAN JUST SOME PARLOR TRICKS.

Scribe: That’s just it. Penn & Teller’s feats are merely parlor tricks. I’m thinking they’d find even jiust ONE of the Egyptian plagues more complicated than their usual tricks, let alone all 10 of them.

God: YOU’RE RIGHT. I’D LIKE TO SEE THEM TRY LOCUSTS. LOCUSTS ARE SO UNWIELDY.

Scribe: So which miracle is your favorite?

God: FIRST TELL ME YOUR FAVORITE.

Scribe: Mine? Let’s see – parting of the Red Sea, fishes and the loaves, manna in the wilderness, resurrection…it’s a tough call. I like the fact you kept Jonah alive inside the whale for 3 days. I bet that’s a fish story that gets bigger each time you tell it.

God: AND BOY, DID JONAH LIKE TO TELL IT.

Scribe: Which miracle is your favorite?

God: PROBABLY THE RED SOX WINNING THE WORLD SERIES IN 2004.

Scribe: That was you?

God: SOMETIMES IT TAKES DIVINE INTERVENTION.

Scribe: Who knew God was a baseball fan? Have you helped other teams?

God: EVER HEAR OF THE “MIRACLE METS” IN 1969?

Scribe: Whoa!

God: THOSE WERE FUN, BUT OF ALL OF MY MIRACLES, LARGE AND SMALL, THE MOST MIRACULOUS TO ME WAS THE CREATION OF LIFE.

Scribe: I guess that beats the whale thing.

God: FROM NOTHING, I CREATED ALL LIVING THINGS.

Scribe: I grant you that’s a big deal, but what about it makes it your favorite?

God: ONCE I CREATED LIVING THINGS, THEY TOOK ON LIVES AND MINDS OF THEIR OWN. THEY CONSTANTLY SURPRISE ME WITH THEIR CAPACITY FOR GOOD AND EVIL, LIGHT AND DARK.

Scribe: That is pretty amazing. Hey, any chance you can help the Cowboys this weekend?

God: THEY’LL COVER THE POINT SPREAD ON THEIR OWN.

2 Comments:

Blogger pooks said...

Woohoo!

12/20/2006 4:38 PM  
Blogger The Scribe said...

I knew there was at least one Cowboys fan out there.

12/20/2006 10:57 PM  

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