Thursday, December 14, 2006

Does God collect royalties from religious movies like "The Passion of the Christ" and "The Nativity Story"?

Scribe: Pooks asks “Do you get royalties from movies like “The Passion of the Christ” and “The Nativity Story”? Do the studios tithe?”

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONS, POOKS. YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED IN THE CREDITS FOR THESE FILMS BUT I ACTUALLY GET EXECUTIVE PRODUCER BILLING AND MY OWN TRAILER ON THE SET.

Scribe: Right.

God: OK, I’M JUST KIDDING. I DON’T RECEIVE ANY ROYALTIES FROM RELIGIOUS MOVIES.

Scribe: What a rip. You should talk to a lawyer.

God: STORIES ABOUT ME ARE QUNITESSENTIALLY IN THE “PUBLIC DOMAIN”. THEY’RE WIDELY PASSED DOWN FROM GENERATION TO GENERATION. PEOPLE ARE FREE TO BELIEVE WHAT THEY WANT AND TO SHARE THE STORIES WITH OTHERS. IF THEY CHOOSE TO SHARE IT BY FILM, I’M FINE WITH THAT.

Scribe: Think about the international box office. Fast food tie-ins. The action figures. The t-shirts. I can just see it now: “Body by God”. You’re leaving a lot of money on the table.

God: AND WHAT WOULD I DO WITH THE MONEY?

Scribe: Wow, you don’t need to buy anything, do you?

God: NO. I DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY POCKETS TO PUT MONEY IN.

Scribe: I could hold it for you…for a small commission of course.

God: ARE WE DONE HERE?

Scribe: What about the last question – “Do the studios tithe?” That last word must be a typo. I never heard of it.

God: THE SPELLING IS CORRECT. "TITHE" TRANSLATED FROM OLD ENGLISH MEANS "TENTH". ONE-TENTH OF AN AMOUNT WAS GENERALLY PAID AS A VOLUNTARY TAX OR LEVY TO HELP SUPPORT RELIGIOUS ORGANIZATIONS.

Scribe: Got it.

God: I DON'T REQUIRE TITHING FROM THE STUDIOS FOR MAKING FILMS ABOUT MY STORIES. AND AS MUCH AS IT MIGHT SURPRISE YOU, THE STUDIOS AREN'T KNOCKING THEMSELVES OFFERING TO TITHE EITHER.

Scribe: Shocking!

God: NOT REALLY.

Scribe: That was sarcasm.

God: I INVENTED SARCASM.

Scribe: Right. I keep forgetting.

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