Is God a man or a woman?

Scribe: Heya, Goddie-boy.

God: GODDIE-BOY?

Scribe: It’s a term of afflect…aflle…affection.

God: YOU’RE DRUNK.

Scribe: No, I’m not.

God: NOW YOU’RE LYING. TO GOD.

Scribe: Okay, you got me. But I’m jus a little tipsy.

God: WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW YOUR BLOOD ALCOHOL LEVEL?

Scribe: I’m drunk, alright? Happy? I had my company holiday party tonight and the spirits were a-flowing, if you know what I mean.

God: I DO. DO YOU WANT TO SLEEP THIS OFF?

Scribe: No, I’m good. I’m good. To. Go.

God: JUST TRY NOT TO HURT YOURSELF.

Scribe: g_grrl asks "Are you a man or a woman?"

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, G_GRRL-- .

Scribe: That’s one dumb-ass question.

God: SCRIBE!

Scribe: What? You don’t think that’s a dumb-ass question?

God: NO I DON’T. PLEASE APOLOGIZE TO G_GRRL RIGHT NOW!

Scribe: She asks the dumb-ass question and I have to apologize?!

God: I WILL TURN YOU TO SALT IF YOU DON’T.

Scribe: I’m sorry, g_grrl.

God: I ALSO APOLOGIZE ON SCRIBE’S BEHALF. ONE DOESN'T NEED TO BE OMNIPOTENT TO KNOW THAT THE ONLY DUMB QUESTIONS ARE THE ONES THAT AREN'T ASKED. NOW AS FOR YOUR QUESTION, I AM NEITHER MAN NOR WOMAN.

Scribe: You're a hermaphrodite?

God: NO, SCRIBE. A HERMAPHRODITE IS AN ORGANISM THAT POSSESS BOTH MALE AND FEMALE SEX ORGANS. I HAVE NEITHER. I AM NEITHER.

Scribe: No sex organs?

God: I HAVE NO BODY. YOU SEE, G_GRRL, BECAUSE I CREATED EVERYTHING, MANY PEOPLE REFER TO ME AS THE "FATHER" AND THUS, CONSIDER ME MALE. BUT I'M NOT OF A SINGLE GENDER. I SIMPLY AM WHAT I AM. THE CREATOR OF THE HEAVENS AND EARTH.

Scribe: I love you, man.

God: I THINK IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LIE DOWN.