Why are Dogs better than Cats?

Scribe: God, Pooks asked "Why did you make dogs superior to cats in every defineable way?"

God: AH, THE CAT AND DOG DEBATE. I'VE HEARD PEOPLE SAY THAT MEN ARE DOGS AND WOMEN ARE CATS. I'VE ALSO HEARD PEOPLE SAY DOGS THINK THEY'RE PEOPLE AND THAT CATS THINK THEY'RE GOD. HERE'S A NEWSFLASH, CATS DON'T REALLY THINK THAT.

Scribe: You know what cats think?

God: I KNOW WHAT EVERYONE THINKS.

Scribe: Right. So cats don't really think they're you?

God: THERE ARE A FEW MEGALOMANIACAL CATS RUNNING AROUND, BUT FOR THE MOST PART THEY DON'T.

Scribe: So as to the question...

God: CLEARLY, POOKS HAS A STRONG POINT OF VIEW ON THE SUBJECT. SHE'S A DOG LOVER. MANY SHARE HER VIEW. HOWEVER, I COULD EASILY SUPPLY A LIST OF FOLKS WHO FEEL EQUALLY THE OTHER WAY.

IN ANCIENT EGYPT, CATS WERE REVERED AND SACRED. EVEN TODAY, MANY MUSLIMS BELIEVE DOGS ARE IMPURE. WHETHER FOR IDEOLOGICAL REASONS OR SIMPLY BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE PREFER ANIMALS THAT ARE MORE OR LESS INDEPENDENT. PEOPLE TEND TO FALL IN ONE CAMP OR THE OTHER.

Scribe: Which do you prefer?

God: THAT'S LIKE ASKING ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN THE SUN AND THE MOON, BETWEEN WATER AND AIR, BETWEEN PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.

Scribe: You eat peanut butter and jelly?

God: NEXT QUESTION.