Saturday, January 06, 2007

Does God really know everything?

Scribe: God, Queen_Cyn asks "Does God really know everything?"

God: THANKS FOR THE QUESTION, CYN. I KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO ASK ME THAT.

Scribe: Cute.

God: THANKS.

Scribe: So the answer is "yes", right? You are omniscient. I looked it up and that means "possessed of universal or complete knowledge."

God: TRUTH BE TOLD, THE ANSWER IS BOTH YES AND NO.

Scribe: Why am I not surprised?

God: GIVE ME A BREAK, SCRIBE. SOME QUESTIONS DO NOT LEND THEMSELVES TO BLACK AND WHITE ANSWERS.

Scribe: Okay, I get you. Let's hear it.

God: I DO KNOW EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED THE MOMENT IT OCCURS. I KNOW EVERY WORD SPOKEN, EVERY THOUGHT CONTEMPLATED, EVERY FEELING FELT.

Scribe: Sounds omniscient so far.

God: BUT BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE FREE WILL AND I TRY NOT TO INTERVENE, I FREQUENTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE FUTURE UNTIL IT HAS ACTUALLY OCCURRED.

Scribe: So if I ask you if I'll get hit by a bus tomorrow?

God: I'D SAY THAT I DON'T KNOW. THE VARIABLES IN THAT SITUATION ARE WHETHER A BUS DRIVER SEES YOU WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND SUDDENLY DECIDES TO SWERVE ONTO THE SIDEWALK AND MOW YOU DOWN...

Scribe: Yikes!

God: ...OR YOU DECIDING TO STEP OFF OF THE CURB JUST AS A BUS PASSES BY SO THE DRIVER HAS NO CHANCE TO REACT AND AVOID HITTING YOU.

Scribe: In either case, couldn't you pluck me out of harms way?

God: I COULD, BUT AS I'VE SAID REPEATED DURING OUR INTERVIEWS, I TEND NOT TO INTERVENE.

Scribe: You couldn't even just shout, "Look out, Scribe"?

God: I COULD BUT I WON'T. PEOPLE WOULD HAVE A HARD TIME DEALING WITH A DISEMBODIED VOICE SHOUTING WARNINGS AT THEM THROUGHOUT THE DAY.

Scribe: I wouldn't.

God: I'LL TAKE THAT UNDER ADVISEMENT.

Scribe: So no advice that might help my personal safety?

God: WATCH WHERE YOU WALK.

Scribe: Thanks a lot.

Monday, January 01, 2007

What would God like us to know?

Scribe: Happy New Years, God.

God: THANK YOU, SCRIBE. THE SAME TO YOU.

Scribe: Since it is the first day of the new year, I thought I'd use today to ask you a question myself.

God: THAT'S FAIR. FIRE AWAY.

Scribe: Up until now, you've been answering the questions we ask. Is there something you'd like us to know?

God: THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. I GUESS NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME AS ANY TO TALK ABOUT KARMA.

Scribe: Karma?

God: YOU KNOW -- WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND. GIVE AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW. YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW LIE IN IT.

Scribe: Right.

God: WHILE I GENERALLY DON'T INTERFERE WITH HUMAN MATTERS, THERE ARE FORCES AT WORK THAT, IN A VERY GENERAL SENSE, REWARD YOU FOR GOOD DEEDS AND PUNISH YOU FOR BAD ONES.

Scribe: So are you saying we should all become Boy Scouts and walk old folks across the street.

God: IT DOESN'T NEED TO EVEN BE ANYTHING SO OVERT. A SIMPLE "GOOD MORNING" TO SOMEONE IN THE ELEVATOR CREATES A PASS ALONG EFFECT OF GOOD WILL THAT WILL EFFECT MANY PEOPLE THROUGHOUT THE DAY. IT MAY COME BACK TO YOU LATER IN THE DAY OR DAYS LATER BUT THE GOODWILL WILL RETURN TO YOU.

Scribe: Sometimes it's hard to say "Good morning" before I've had my coffee.

God: THAT'S JUST AN EXAMPLE. A SIMPLE SMILE, A KIND WORD, A MOMENT OF PATIENCE. IF A CHILD IS TRYING TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING TO YOU, PUT DOWN THE NEWSPAPER AND LISTEN. ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT SOMEDAY -- PROBABLY SOONER THAN YOU THINK -- THE CHILD WILL NO LONGER BE INTERESTED IN EXPLAINING THINGS TO YOU, THAT MOMENT OF ATTENTION ADDS TO THE CHILD'S SELF CONFIDENCE THAT MAY SOMEDAY PAYOFF IN AN ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT WILL BETTER THE WORLD.

Scribe: I think I get it.

God: THE POINT IS THAT OTHER THAN ME, EACH OTHER IS ALL YOU'VE GOT. IT'S EASY TO IGNORE OTHERS, DEPLETE NATURAL RESOURCES AND WASTE TIME ON THINGS THAT MATTER LITTLE. BUT IN THE LONG RUN, THERE ARE REPERCUSSIONS TO BE FACED. TREAT EACH DAY LIKE A GIFT, EACH OTHER LIKE SOMEONE SPECIAL AND EACH NATURAL RESOURCE AS SOMETHING PRECIOUS.

Scribe: I hear you but can't help feeling like this is some sappy greeting card.

God: FEEL HOWEVER YOU WANT BUT TAKE THE WORDS TO HEART. YOU EACH HAVE ONLY ONE LIFE TO LIVE. WHAT KIND OF LEGACY DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE?

Scribe: Um, a good one?

God: THAT'S YOUR CHOICE. SPEND YOUR DAYS HOWEVER YOU WANT. BUT KNOW THAT EACH PERSON HAS THE POWER TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE FOR HAVING BEEN IN IT. AND BY HAVING A POSITIVE INFLUENCE ON THE WORLD AND OTHERS, YOUR TIME SPENT HERE WILL BE MORE ENRICHING.

Scribe: Thanks, God.

God: THANK YOU, SCRIBE. AND HAPPY NEW YEAR.